_Pickup Artist Body Language
_We've all heard the platitude, "Be confident", right? Easier in theory. Confidence is an ambigious, all encompassing term that girls KNOW when they see it, but can't quite take their finger on it. Other guys KNOW after they meet a cool, confident man, but they may not understand what makes that one pickup artist better than all the other lamers.
Pickup Artist
Well, here are MY practical suggestions on developing both inner and outer confidence outside of a PUA Bootcamp. It's essentially a self-feeding loop, things that you do on the outside (your gestures, movements, etc.) feed in your own ego as well as the other way round. When you ARE confident, then you ACT confident. This is simply not easy to develop for most guys.
In the event you aren't "naturally" a confident guy, you are basically going to have to fake it unless you make it. And yes, it's going to be hard and women are going to be able to read right through you in the beginning. But it's like muscle training, it's PUA Training. It will take a lot of time, practice, and social development. You'll begin to develop this social savvy, flirting skills and also you won't be nervous in social settings. But like exercising, it's gonna hurt and stay uncomfortable as you supersize those flirting muscles.
***Outer Confidence***
1. MOVE SLOW. I can't mean robot slow, but an extremely self-assured "I'm in no hurry so that you can sit your ass down and hold back until I'm done" kind of slow. This implies controlling any nervous tics constantly hand movements, turning around and around, rubbernecking like some tourist at the hot girls, scurrying around & getting out of people's way, etc. You will be animated, but don't look like a yapping puppy dog on caffeine.
2. LEAN BACK (Sitting). If you are sitting, lean back and become COMFORTABLE. Your comfort, relaxation and pleasure Tend to be more IMPORTANT than what other people think about you. When you're bullshitting with your friends in the living room, odds are you're kicking within the couch and relaxing like the couch potato you are. The same goes for any other social setting. YOUR COMFORT Is a lot more IMPORTANT THAN WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.
3. LEAN BACK (Standing). The same thing goes for when you're standing and talking with someone. I was at Drama Club when I saw this cute, blonde girl go up and talk to these Asian guys. The one guy was very animated (nothing necessarily wrong with that), but was leaning forward and backward into the girl. The clown- er, guy- appeared to be a pendulum seeing how fast he kept on moving back in and out. Believe me, that's weird. Ideally, you want to appear chill and relaxed. While you talk to someone, you (being a sign of comfort, and intimacy) commence to lean in while SHE leans in also.
4. SMILE & FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. Don't smile TOO much, but give her a smile. A lot of smiling makes you look like an instrument. Also realize that there are TONS of various smiles and facial expressions. You have the sexy smile, the smoldering smile, the laughing at you/me smile, the smirk, the innocent smile, the puzzled smile, the "you're retarded" look, the "I wish to kiss you" look, the "Fuck me now" look, sticking your tongue out at her, etc. Make use of them ALL. Asians especially should do this because, for whatever reason, our facial expressions aren't probably the most readable to others.
5. FEET. Just like #3, when you're standing, don't stand just like a girl: your feet and knees are together. Stand being a man. Men take up enough. We need air to circulate between our bait n' tackle. Spread you apart. This also has the added benefit of giving you better balance just in case some meathead wants to knock your block off.
6. DRINKS. If you are holding a drink, don't hug it like it's your only friend. Hold it down with you. Look around you when you're with a bar. People hold their drinks facing their chest like it's their baby or they do not know what to do with their hands. And NEVER, EVER BUY A GIRL A glass or two in order to talk to her. That's lame and she knows it. Lots of pretty women use that tactic to get free drinks. Now, it's OK afterwards when you've been flirting along with her, sitting with her, chilling together with her for 30 minutes to an hour. Then its like you're just investing in a round of drinks to suit your needs and your friends. But NEVER BUY A GIRL A DRINK as a way to start a girl.
7. TOUCH. You shouldn't be afraid to touch girls. I mean, don't you enjoy it when a women touches your arm, chest, back, etc.? Same task with girls, they enjoy physical touch as well. Obviously, however, there always a comfort line. But as you flirt, that comfort increases. You can touch the shoulder, arm, leave her with a noogie, pick her up, booty bump her, spin her around, throw your arm over her shoulders, hugs, etc. An advanced cool guy, they will like it. Again, this takes some skill to produce.
8. VOICE VOLUME. If you are talking in a loud venue, you should be able to speak loudly and clearly. No-one pays attention to the guy who's just whispering. Conversely, you ought to be able to pull a girl in and start speaking slowly and seductively.
9. VOICE SPEED. Don't not speak TOO fast. It's a sign of nervousness and discomfort. Should you sound like some kid who forgot his daily dose of Ritalin, you're gonna weird people out.
10. CONVERSATION. You need to be able to generate conversation immediately. You say something, she says something. If you can't hold a conversation for that life of you, start practicing and doing more along with your life so you HAVE something to discuss. Be humorous, playful, excited, sad, vunerable, curious, etc.
11. DOMINATE. Physical space is definitely an illusion. It's something that's really just inside our minds. Don't be afraid to get into someone's physical space or they into yours. In case you are flirting with someone, slowly walk into their space. When turning people around, place your hand on their shoulder and gently move them. Tapping on their own shoulder is weak. If you go up to a table approach someone, place both hands on the table and lean.
12. EYE CONTACT. This is self-obvious. In other counries, eye contact isn't a big deal, but in America and Europe, it most definitely is. If you can't MAKE and HOLD his full attention, you're considered timid, shy or- even worse- weak in both worlds.
Hell, there's more but I'll delve into that another time. Once i have time, I'll explore inner confidence, your beliefs and reality.
Pickup Artist
Pickup Artist
Well, here are MY practical suggestions on developing both inner and outer confidence outside of a PUA Bootcamp. It's essentially a self-feeding loop, things that you do on the outside (your gestures, movements, etc.) feed in your own ego as well as the other way round. When you ARE confident, then you ACT confident. This is simply not easy to develop for most guys.
In the event you aren't "naturally" a confident guy, you are basically going to have to fake it unless you make it. And yes, it's going to be hard and women are going to be able to read right through you in the beginning. But it's like muscle training, it's PUA Training. It will take a lot of time, practice, and social development. You'll begin to develop this social savvy, flirting skills and also you won't be nervous in social settings. But like exercising, it's gonna hurt and stay uncomfortable as you supersize those flirting muscles.
***Outer Confidence***
1. MOVE SLOW. I can't mean robot slow, but an extremely self-assured "I'm in no hurry so that you can sit your ass down and hold back until I'm done" kind of slow. This implies controlling any nervous tics constantly hand movements, turning around and around, rubbernecking like some tourist at the hot girls, scurrying around & getting out of people's way, etc. You will be animated, but don't look like a yapping puppy dog on caffeine.
2. LEAN BACK (Sitting). If you are sitting, lean back and become COMFORTABLE. Your comfort, relaxation and pleasure Tend to be more IMPORTANT than what other people think about you. When you're bullshitting with your friends in the living room, odds are you're kicking within the couch and relaxing like the couch potato you are. The same goes for any other social setting. YOUR COMFORT Is a lot more IMPORTANT THAN WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.
3. LEAN BACK (Standing). The same thing goes for when you're standing and talking with someone. I was at Drama Club when I saw this cute, blonde girl go up and talk to these Asian guys. The one guy was very animated (nothing necessarily wrong with that), but was leaning forward and backward into the girl. The clown- er, guy- appeared to be a pendulum seeing how fast he kept on moving back in and out. Believe me, that's weird. Ideally, you want to appear chill and relaxed. While you talk to someone, you (being a sign of comfort, and intimacy) commence to lean in while SHE leans in also.
4. SMILE & FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. Don't smile TOO much, but give her a smile. A lot of smiling makes you look like an instrument. Also realize that there are TONS of various smiles and facial expressions. You have the sexy smile, the smoldering smile, the laughing at you/me smile, the smirk, the innocent smile, the puzzled smile, the "you're retarded" look, the "I wish to kiss you" look, the "Fuck me now" look, sticking your tongue out at her, etc. Make use of them ALL. Asians especially should do this because, for whatever reason, our facial expressions aren't probably the most readable to others.
5. FEET. Just like #3, when you're standing, don't stand just like a girl: your feet and knees are together. Stand being a man. Men take up enough. We need air to circulate between our bait n' tackle. Spread you apart. This also has the added benefit of giving you better balance just in case some meathead wants to knock your block off.
6. DRINKS. If you are holding a drink, don't hug it like it's your only friend. Hold it down with you. Look around you when you're with a bar. People hold their drinks facing their chest like it's their baby or they do not know what to do with their hands. And NEVER, EVER BUY A GIRL A glass or two in order to talk to her. That's lame and she knows it. Lots of pretty women use that tactic to get free drinks. Now, it's OK afterwards when you've been flirting along with her, sitting with her, chilling together with her for 30 minutes to an hour. Then its like you're just investing in a round of drinks to suit your needs and your friends. But NEVER BUY A GIRL A DRINK as a way to start a girl.
7. TOUCH. You shouldn't be afraid to touch girls. I mean, don't you enjoy it when a women touches your arm, chest, back, etc.? Same task with girls, they enjoy physical touch as well. Obviously, however, there always a comfort line. But as you flirt, that comfort increases. You can touch the shoulder, arm, leave her with a noogie, pick her up, booty bump her, spin her around, throw your arm over her shoulders, hugs, etc. An advanced cool guy, they will like it. Again, this takes some skill to produce.
8. VOICE VOLUME. If you are talking in a loud venue, you should be able to speak loudly and clearly. No-one pays attention to the guy who's just whispering. Conversely, you ought to be able to pull a girl in and start speaking slowly and seductively.
9. VOICE SPEED. Don't not speak TOO fast. It's a sign of nervousness and discomfort. Should you sound like some kid who forgot his daily dose of Ritalin, you're gonna weird people out.
10. CONVERSATION. You need to be able to generate conversation immediately. You say something, she says something. If you can't hold a conversation for that life of you, start practicing and doing more along with your life so you HAVE something to discuss. Be humorous, playful, excited, sad, vunerable, curious, etc.
11. DOMINATE. Physical space is definitely an illusion. It's something that's really just inside our minds. Don't be afraid to get into someone's physical space or they into yours. In case you are flirting with someone, slowly walk into their space. When turning people around, place your hand on their shoulder and gently move them. Tapping on their own shoulder is weak. If you go up to a table approach someone, place both hands on the table and lean.
12. EYE CONTACT. This is self-obvious. In other counries, eye contact isn't a big deal, but in America and Europe, it most definitely is. If you can't MAKE and HOLD his full attention, you're considered timid, shy or- even worse- weak in both worlds.
Hell, there's more but I'll delve into that another time. Once i have time, I'll explore inner confidence, your beliefs and reality.
Pickup Artist
